Why Are You Like This To Me?
Yeonui-nim [Ujelkwi-nim get the tickets?]
[ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I’m finally ㅠㅠㅠㅠ goingㅠㅠㅠ]XMASseonmul-nim [Oh ㅊㅊㅊㅊㅊ will be filming together in a while ㅋㅋㅋ going to allcon1Concert of top idols usually held around 3 days. Allcon refers to ‘all concert’, or coming to all concert days. ?]
[ㅋㅋㅋ isn’t man must be allcon? ㅋㅋㅋ]Yeonui-nim [ㅎㅅㅎ… where did the person who was picketing2 Bloody ticketing. From the word ‘pi’ of blood and ticketing. A mocking(?) term for fierce ticketing. and crying last week go?]
[Ah… Yeonui-nim shh…]XMASseonmul-nim [ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ah did you see the video this timeㅠㅠㅠ our babies are crazyㅠㅠㅠ]
“Hehehe…”
“Aow, what a surprise! Won’t you go off??”
The countless ringing of messages from nyangtalk.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter even at the kicking of noona, who was harsh and violent.
I lost in the first round of the lottery and even failed the ticketing on the second round for my kids’ concert. It wasn’t that I completely abolished food and drink, but it was only last week that he fell into despair and cried in his room.
“Noonim~ I’ll do my best!”
“If you just open your mouth, it’s all lies. Take good care of your goods. If you can’t buy yours, buy mine.”
No matter how harsh and sharp noona was, it was like an angel’s voice to me now.
To me, the invitation was ‘unavoidable’, but since it was handed over, even carrying it with me was not enough.
After chatting with close hommas3Homepage Master a.k.a fansite master. about getting tearful tickets, I started to touch the video I had been editing since the day before.
***
I’m a fanboy of the idol group Unravel.
I had no particular interest or attraction to idols. Someone who just turned the channel and said wow when a pretty female idol came out. I fell for an idol, which was also a male idol, purely thanks to noona.
I was born as a late child, so I made my parents worried. I grew up safely, went to university, and then immediately ran away to the army.
It wasn’t like the pain of first love. Everything was just boring and not enjoyable. It seemed like I was the only one who shunned the joys of campus life that my friends were talking about.
I enlisted as soon as the first semester of freshman year ended with a shallow thought that I might become a little bit of a person if I was mentally driven. I endured that long time by cursing my ignorance of that time.
Why did the hyungs experience the army as a room of time and spirit.
Sergeant Park that bastard sometimes still appeared in my dream and woke me up tiredly.
Damned guy. Watch the back of your head, seriously. 4Referring to the act of hitting the head of someone from the back in anger, because the polite manner is that you can’t do rude things right in front of the hate target. Ah, sometimes also used as a metaphor for betraying.
With a more exhausted mind, I was thrown back into reality. After returning to school, mid-terms, final exams, and even taking a leave of absence, there was no one but me in the corner of the room.
Noona who looked at me sadly threw a word at me.
“Hey, look at this.”
“Oh, what’s it.”
“Shut up and watch.”
I heard this when I was eating chicken with my sister after becoming a fan, but my parents were so worried about me not laughing and did nothing, but she was so busy.
Noona, who had not enough time to fangirl due to her work life, decided to stanning with me. The video she played at that time was a survival program for the formation of the idol Unravel.
The title of the program is so tacky even to think about it now.
My gosh. To think it’s ‘Idol Create’. What to do with my hands and feet5It’s so cringey that your limbs feel shrunk like dried trees. …
I hated the survival program itself personally, but I couldn’t refuse because she would give me pocket money if I did as I was told. So, I started to watch the video but…
I didn’t expect myself to start stanning like that.
Even though it was a broadcast, the scene where the kids who look much younger than me couldn’t eat properly, rolled while sweating profusely, and got cursed was not a picture I wanted to see.
I frowned automatically.
At least feed them before making them do something.
Among the children who were sharing joy and sorrow, why did they have to be like that too. It was so annoying that I grumbled at noona. Telling isn’t all planned anyway.
I got beaten for being loud. After that, I shut up and fixed my eyes on the video.
In the meantime, the kids were hiding in the corner crying saying they should somehow endure it and they were singing with swollen eyes in front of people. Perhaps it was since then.
I just wish it would be good if they become successful.
So because of noona, I watched videos for days and nights. I got curious, so I looked up songs and listened to them. Before long I was even buying tickets with noona.
And from some point on, I carried a camera around, filmed the kids, and edited videos. I became the so-called homma.
Although I wasn’t a named homma because I filmed whenever I had time and shared it with only those I became close to. But I liked the appearance of Unravel on stage that remained in the record I took.
I hope everyone in the world knows that my babies are handsome, that they’re working so hard, that they sing amazingly and I hope they walk on the flowery path.
Isn’t it the heart of every fan?
‘Our kids are the cutest in the world.’6U.ri ae.deul sae.sang.e.seo je.il kwi.yeo.wo (우리 애들이 세상에서 제일 귀여워)
That’s how my activity name became ‘Ujelkwi’.
***
That’s how the day of the showdown dawned. I did not stay up all night because of the pre-arranged turn7The turn to enter the concert stadium, especially for standing. Am I right? I have no actual experience of being a hardcore fan… , and I arrived at the main stadium on the first train early morning.
I could see Somungchis that had been settled early everywhere, so I couldn’t help but laugh.
“What’s Somungchi8 솜뭉치(som.moong.chi) Just from the sound is already cute. Means ‘wad of cotton’ or ‘cotton ball’. I prefer the first one. , it’s cute.”
The fandom name was decided by our Ravels with ladder9 Ladder shuffle. Don’t know? It’s a way to randomize(?) turns or picks by drawing lines like a ladder. was Somungchi.
How come our kids are so cute even to their minds?
“Ujelkwi-nim, here!”
“Ah, Se Jin-nim!”
Time went by so quickly as we chatted and opened the packed food with our comrades who must have struggled all night.
“Ah, I forgot to buy batteries… Haa, stupid me.”
“Ah, then I’ll go buy it. We also don’t have enough things to eat, so it’s all good.”
The performance time is 2 and a half hours, but extra batteries were essential thanks to the kids who always pass that time by default.
Seeing everyone’s sunken eyes, it seemed like everyone had not slept for a few days because of the burning of fan spirit, so I thought it would be better for the sanest me to go.
The nearest convenience store was already out of stock, so I had to walk to a place a little far away.
There’s a restless shadow, who I seemed to know who it was just from the back.
‘…! It’s Se Bin!’
He was in the shade with a mask and a hat as if being conscious of the gaze around me, but my eyes couldn’t be fooled.
When I walked nearby as if I was possessed, I caught a glimpse of a conversation with a companion.
“Seok Hwan hyung, really nothing? Hyung knows right…”
“Know, I know it but the candy is sold out… Who are you?”
Feeling the sign of a presence, the manager stood in front of me as if covering Se Bin. I unwittingly took out lemon-flavored lollipops from the convenience store bag and held them out.
“That… I think you’re looking for this, so please take it.”
“Uh, perhaps Somungchi…?”
“…Yes. I will keep it a secret.”
“Thank you… Also autograph…?”
Se Bin had a cute habit of always relieving eating lemon-flavored lollipops to relieve the extreme tension he felt before the performance. Fans adored such Se Bin and always carried candies with them.
Se Bin peeped out from behind the manager, received the lollipops shyly, and asked carefully.
It may be funny to others to see two grown-up boys handing out candies and talking shyly, but we were very serious.
Have I ever been this nervous in my life?
I’m indeed nervous as a fan who met his idol, but our Se Bin is avoiding10Avoiding because not brave enough or shy. his fans as well. As expected, our baby is the cutest…!
The most glorious day of my life come as I broke the title of unlucky fan11덕계못(deok.gye.mot). An abbreviation of “덕후는 계를 못 탄다”. Simply, it’s referring to the phenomenon(?) of how hard it is to meet the star you like. Especially when non-fans are more likely to meet or get fanservice than true fans. .
“I won’t wash my hands. Ha… Fighting for today’s performance…!”
“Thank you for the candy. I will work harder…!”
A happy smile did not leave my mouth as I watched the back of Se Bin who disappeared toward the concert hall first while waving candies.
He offered to pay for the candies so I asked him carefully to take a selfie, and he said to let’s take it together.
I was touched even just by the autograph…
“After all our Ravels are all angels…”
When idols are close to particular fans, it is naturally hurtful for other fans. As Unravel always loved all fans equally, I decided to share this photo only with my sister.
[Noona, I broke my luck. It’s legendary. Really our Ravelsissoㅠㅠ]That was the last message of my life to my sister.
Should I be glad that I sent the picture first and wrote the message…
On the way back to the concert hall, there was a car running at crazy speed from the parking lot across. I was hit by the car without seeing it and flew straight into the air.
I forgot to look around because I was fuddled by shaking hands, got autographs, and even took photos together. Aside from that, I never dreamed that there would be a guy out of his mind running at that speed in the parking lot.
The stuff in the bag flew in the air with me and there was a feeling of silence around inside the unreasonable situation.
‘Uh…?’
And at that moment, my body couldn’t overcome gravity and was thrown back to the ground.
It hurts that much when I just hit my little toe on the threshold while I’m off guard. But what I felt at that moment was the pain of hundreds of steel skewers stabbing my whole body.
I’ve never had a skewer stuck in my body but doesn’t it hurt just to get stabbed by a slightly thicker syringe. This was thousands or tens of thousands of times more painful than that.
Physiological tears burst out automatically. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t say anything except croaking sounds.
‘Oh, fu**… Noona told me to look ahead. Mom, dad…’
Ripping screams echoed from everywhere. Soon after, blood that would have flowed from my body soon eroded the cement floor like ink.
Thousands of thoughts passed through my mind in a flash as my consciousness became blurred, but the last thing left was a comedy that was the word of ‘unlucky fan’.
It was my habit to say that true fans don’t win the fortune12This is the meaning of the abbreviation 덕계못(deok.gye.mot) that translated as ‘unlucky fan’ here. , but it’s so unfair that I died as soon as I won the fortune.
Eventually, the pain and consciousness disappeared with a beeping sound like tinnitus.
***
‘Ah… Dazzling. …Uh?’
Can my eyes be dazzled? Am I alive?
When I woke up with the feeling like I had been hit in the back of my head, a cat about the size of my palms was looking at me.
“Ora… I’m aliv…?”
“Nope. Nim13Used as an honorific to call someone following the title or name. Eg. Se Jin-nim, manager-nim. This one is usually used in the internet context when addressing people like in comments because as you know username is simply absurd(some sites even censoring username partially in Korea). So, they simply address each other with nim. is dead.”
“Ah, this is a dream. Then that’s right. That I met Se Bin is absu…”
“Ah, won’t you come to your senses soon?”
I was about to lie down, but I got up again because of the strong pain in the back of my head.
“Aow, what the!!”
“Nim. I’m busy, so sit down and listen well.”
The explanation of this cat, no, the self-proclaimed fairy guide named Poing that followed was not even funny.
“So, you’re gonna let me be reborn?”
“Ha, is nim a fool uhm? Being born again and having a new body are completely different things uhm.”
“It’s coming back to life anyway.”
“It’s different. Nim doesn’t read books uhm? I heard there are many novels like that on Earth.”
“I don’t have enough time to see my babies, so is there any time to read.”
“This is why working with a noob is…”
There’s no way to know if this is real or a dream… No. Actually, I thought this might be a dream more strongly.
It doesn’t hurt even if you get hit in a dream, although the one I just got hit hurt a lot.
Anyway, I’m dead, and my earnest heart summoned a wish-fulfilling fairy.
Something like the genie of the lamp that I saw when I was young.
When I asked if it was the same as that, it looked at me with a very pathetic expression.
It was not reasonable that I could understand a cat’s expression. Although it didn’t make sense to even talk in the first place.
“Nim has three options. You can only choose one of these. Once you choose, you can’t change it uhm.”
“Why must it be 3? Can’t there be more?”
“I heard Koreans like the number 3 but nim is not uhm?”
“Then do people from other countries have more options?”
“No. Just pick.”
My gosh, I’ve never seen such a sharp person, no, cat.
As it said everything it wanted to say, it moved its front paw like it was bothersome, and a shiny opaque window appeared in front of my eyes.
– Stable Type
– Effort Type
– Random
I roughly understood the familiar window that looked like a game interface, but there was no detailed explanation. And what’s that uneasy option at the end?
“Excuse me, cat-nim? Poing? This needs an explanation.”
“Nim won’t understand even if I explain it anyway.”
“Can’t you at least try and judge…?”
My gosh, anyone who has ever seen a cat sigh?
Me, it’s me. It also sighed in a very blatant way. That undoubtedly must be done on purpose 100 percent.
Aside from words or explanations that are hard to understand, let’s summarize first. Stable type is well balanced overall and effort type literally means that the increase in ability varies greatly depending on effort.
And it said random means literally.
However, after hearing all these lengthy explanations, I could understand why it was bothersome to explain.
Due to the nature of the race, which is a self-proclaimed fairy, there is a limit to providing as much explanation as possible if the subject requests it.
“Whatever I choose, it’s not much different?”
“Therefore, let’s decide quickly and go quickly.”
“Are you going too?”
After talking together to some extent, I developed a bit of intimacy with Poing. I patted the fur Poing who sat down next to me.
For me, who has been through so much in one day, it doesn’t matter if this is a dream or whatever.
Poing, who tapped my arm with the front paw as if it was unhappy, soon left me alone to see if it was annoying.
“We have to stay together until your wishes come true. If I throw you roughly, there could be many accidents.”
“Is it?”
“What, why nim smiling like that?”
“Random.”
“????”
Poing, who almost jumped, tried to stop me. But the window that had been blinking in front of me seemed to have already applied what I said and slowly melted into the air.
“Nim crazy uhm? Choosing random knowing what’s going to happen!!”
“The guide will let me know so I don’t screw up.”
“Ah, I’m screwed. Screw it!!”
The angry Poing even hissed and then calmed down after a while. In the meantime, my body was drooping like green onion kimchi after trying to stop Poing who was running wild.
“I don’t know. Nim, take care of yourself.”
“Haha, well. Won’t it work out somehow?”
In fact, until this point, I thought it was a pretty specific and fun dream.
What genie of the lamp. Because it was a fairytale.
If I’m lucky, I’ll be alive. And if I’m unlucky, I’ll continue to dream like this in a coma, that’s all.
Still, there’s an if.
“You know, can I ask one thing?”
“What’s it?”
“What happens to my family? They must have been very sad.”
“…Nim is not going back to the world you used to live in uhm.”
“Huh?”
“Nim’s existence is newly created in the world where another nim lived uhm. You’ll know the details once you experience it uhm.”
“Ah…”
There seemed to be no mercy even in the dream.
Parents who have been worried about their ugly son all their lives. Noona who gets angry a lot but always tries to take care of me. They have to continue living after losing ‘me’ like that.
My mouth is full.
It’s my dream, but I can’t finish it the way I want.
I wanted to hear a detailed explanation of what the situation was like in the future, but this arrogant cat only said that I’ll know when I experienced it and tapped my hand asking to lift it.
Looking at me in the eye for a moment, Poing threw a few words and placed a cute pink jelly on my forehead.
“Anyway, don’t blame me because nim chose it uhm.”
And when I opened my eyes, I realized the greatness of noona once again.
‘Noona said that I shouldn’t sign a contract carelessly.’